The article about nothing

This article does not do anything. Well, actually, it knows what it does not do. It sure does; does know, that is, what it does not. OK, that's getting loopy. Let's move on.
Oh wait, but we cant move on. You see, this article does not believe in space or time or dynamism thereof. So let's just figure out what it does not, which is all that it really does.
Should we eliminate in alphabetical order? Probably not, since that reeks of order and one thing this article definitely does not like is order or structure of any sort. (But we are just starting out, so we needn't take the not-taking-seriously too seriously.)

A-No three-letter-word -starting -with -A-and ending-with-T. Please. We cant encourage profanities. (Henceforth referred to as A**)
B- Not bombastic. No big words, buddy boy. I, whoever i am, will connect with you, whoever you are, without the crutch of language.
C- No connections. The above usage notwithstanding. There cant be a connection between two nobody-reallys.
D- No definition...i mean...ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THAT IS THE ONE THING WE DO NOT BELIEVE IN, ALRIGHT???!!
E- No emotions. (What about emoticons, you ask?). None either. That would imply that we have emotions and the whole point is that we cant be like beasts or insects or whichever unfortunate form that is supposed to have them.
No ego too. No self, so no ego. But what about the case where our non-being is threatened by earth-resident-aliens? If we defend ourselves, would we have an ego? Confusing. Nothing that cant be taught by a little training, though.
F- Nothing fancy, flouncy, florid, feathery or frilly. Basically, no F-words other than the 4 lettered ones.
G- No G**. G**! Sorry to offend yoll's sensibilities (where applicable) , but there seems to be no decent way out of this non-definition.
H- No hoity-toity high-brow hogwash. However, it is fine to be hoity-toity about not being high-browed. Hogwash? No, i can explain...
I- No I. Clever, huh? Oops...will you stop that ego massage already?
J- No joys. Although this is a subset of E, this needs to be handled separately, since presents the most danger to us. Joys, Joyce..explosive stuff.
K-No kindness. No kin, so no need. No ken. Any trace of it must be stashed away in the kennel.
L-No love. Nossir, it aint love that makes our world go flat.
M-No mentors.
N-No. Nahin. Nyet. Negative. We love "N"!
O- No order, none other.
P-No pretense. For that matter no pre-tense. That's our way of saying we dont care for the past.
No political correctness. For that matter no political and no correctness. Let's spell it out into the open-seniors, women, kids...watch out! We know our cuss words and are not afraid to say them!
Q-No quotations. Nobody's trash gets emptied in our garden...wait...trash can. (I think i am finally talking the talk!)
R-No refinement. Crass is class.
S- No self-control. We dont need none of it.
T-No theory. You A** theoreticians, you science theoreticians, you pomposities, you monstrosities, just you wait-we have a theory about you.
U- No unnecissities. (Does that mean invention, what with necessity being big momma and all that? Training will tell. I am sure we cant admit to being inventors, or any such grand title!)
V-No Victorian. Well, maybe, just her secret.
W- No wins. No whines. (Notice, did not say no wines, cant say no to everything, can you now?)
X-Nothing in Xcess. Fine, that's cheating, but X is not E-see?
Y-No you. Phew! That was easy.
Z-No zephyr. OK, so i looked for all the words from Z and this was the most pleasant one i found, so i decided that negating it would be fine by us.

That was a lot of work. Darn it, at the end of it, the article turned out to be something-work!